dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ladies don't puke and tell
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
