that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
