K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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