I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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