Where did you get a picture of my penis
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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