Umm I'm too high to move.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
