Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
