Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
