how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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