You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She needs sedatives and a leash
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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