He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
