yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
