You just made me feel so damn special
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
