Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
