is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
