i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize