i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
