R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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