You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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