Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
