did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
