I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
they're like a gay fantastic four
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
