I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
