We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
