walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
