My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
