Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
