By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
