"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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