i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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