i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
