Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
