feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
