ugly people sure do ruin things
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
