I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Randomize