just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize