Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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