When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
