Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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