the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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