do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
