"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
