haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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