This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
