I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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