Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
