Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
