Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
