I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize