Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
