Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize