remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
