she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
