he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
