I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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