ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
