I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
