chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
