So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize