The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is classic penis vs brain.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
