piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize