just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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