is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
