I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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