Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I CAN MOONWALK!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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