check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
