Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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