I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We are all done wearing pants today
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