At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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