I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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